Finding Home on the Go: Empathy, Authenticity, and the Nomadic Spirit

Hey Nomads, welcome to Digital Nomad Stories, the podcast. My name is Anik Lassen and, together with my co-host, kendra Hosse, we interview digital nomads. Why? Because we want to share stories of how they did it. We talk about remote work, online business, location independency, freelancing, travel and, of course, about the digital nomad lifestyle. Do you want to know more about us and access all previous episodes? Visit digitalnomadsco. Alright over to Kendra for today's interview.

Welcome to Digital Nomad Stories, the podcast. My name is Kendra and I'm your host today. Today, I'm joined by Samantha Saki. She's an entrepreneur and emotional intelligence and leadership coach. She offers woman coaching programs to individuals, and she also writes courses or consults educational institutions and companies. What I'm really excited about, though, is that I feel she's like really living this kind of a nomadic lifestyle in childhood, so I really think today we will get interesting insights. You need perspectives from her on the way of being a nomad, or what it really means, how it is living like this. So welcome to have you here, samantha.

Kendra, thank you, and thank you for that lovely introduction. I'm excited to talk about these juicy stories.

So maybe let's write a jump in it, Maybe you share a little bit with us your story where you're like, as I said, you're like kind of a nomad since childhood.

So yeah, maybe we start with this. Yeah, totally, I feel like my life is very I don't know particular in that way, because I moved so much when I was a kid and you know my parents. People often asked me oh, were your parents diplomats? And I'm like, no, they were just a little bit crazy. And you have to be a little bit, let's say, crazy, you know, in terms of seeing yourself from traditional society where you're expected to like live in one place and build a life in that place and have a stable job right, and, I think, a lot of digital nomads. It's like we are a little bit crazy. We are changing the norms and like the status quo. But yeah, like I sort of grew up in that. So I was born in Venezuela and I've never lived there. So my family left when I was four and we went to Madrid for two years and then to Minnesota for two years and then to Florida for five years and then back to Spain for five, for two years, three. And then I went to university and that was two years in Budapest in Hungary, and two years in Milan, italy. Then I went to London for a year, then I went back to Spain for five years and then I went to Australia for five years. Oh, wow it seems like I'm 80 years old, but I'm not that old. So, yeah, I think I grew up with this sense that, like that, I belong to the world, not to one location, and I see the world very much like my little playground where, okay, it's like okay where to next. And even if I've had a base, you know a lot of my life, even when we stayed for many years in one location like Florida, when I was like 11 to 15, we still traveled all the time right. So all the time it was, like you know, for New Year's, for summer, for visiting family all over the globe. So I think that definitely set me up for the traveling life.

And I'm just wondering. I feel what would you say is like the beauty of this nomadic life since a child you know. So what do you feel that you maybe learn or experience you wouldn't if you would have been settled all the time. Can you imagine about some special gift? Yeah, 100%.

I think that, you know, moving around opens your mind, so like in a way that is that nothing else can, Because meeting people, like every time you meet a new culture, a new group of people, we have this, you know, internal sense that we want to belong. Right, we have that like need for belonging, we're wired for that and so automatically it's like your brain just like starts to empathize with the people that you're with and, oh, how they live, what's important to them, what they value, what they react to. And so you start to like see the world, like to see life, especially if you're empathetic and you can really connect with the beliefs, the emotions, the points of view of other people. You connect with different ways of seeing the world, and so I think that it creates more flexibility as well, like even on a psychological level, where you don't attach too intensely to anything. But even a belief system you know like because you realize you can actually choose in different parts of the world, like everyone's going to see the world in a different way and you get to actually choose. Okay, like which mindset serves me the most Right, like which one feels where does my soul, my heart, my body feel the most at home, which one feels the safest, Because sometimes actually like where we grew up, you know, could be actually the place where we feel the least safe, Maybe because it was like a toxic family or, you know, it's very like traditional or whatever. We feel sort of like trapped and yeah, moving around creates a sense of like inner freedom, that's what.

I would say yeah nice and when listening to you, I had the thought that, being a digital nomad, we also learn being empathetic, so it's easier for us maybe in some way to create really this meaningful connection, really having this authentic conversation with new people. Because you said, yeah, the sense of belonging. We sometimes have it at home, there is being all the time with new people, but also while traveling it's still there, the sense of belonging we need. It's like a human need we have, so we try to belong to people we just meet Right and then it's like, yeah, we don't want to get, I feel yeah.

And when you relate with other digital nomads as well that know this, like I feel that you know, I feel it with my brother as well, like we both have this just genuine openness where, as soon as we meet somebody, we see them and we're curious about them and, at the same time, we want to share ourselves in a very authentic way. It's almost like, look, we don't need to do the whole bullshit thing where you pretend and you try to be like socially acceptable or you show a certain part of yourself. It's like no, it was like, we're all human, we're all doing a thing. What are you struggling with? This is what I love. What about you? And then you find these points of interest and like, oh my God, okay, let's go to this together tonight.

Okay.

I think, yeah, connection happens in an easier way. It's like you almost relax about yourself too. You're like forced to take yourself a little bit less seriously too. I think that's a gift of the lifestyle as well. I hadn't thought about it that way, but yeah, it is interesting.

And in which way do you mean you take yourself less seriously?

Well, I think every time you move to a new place, it's almost like an ego death, in a way.

Like nobody knows you.

Nobody knows who you are. You're not important. You know, like I mean you're important to yourself, but I'm saying you're starting from scratch. You're like you're a nobody in a sense. I remember like when I moved to Australia, for example, I sold everything that I had in Madrid, I left my apartment and I think, like, looking back now, I had this need to prove certain things to myself. Like I can go and build a company and actually, like, create something that aligns with my purpose and I don't need anyone's help. I'm not going to use connections you know my mom's not going to get me in touch with the whoever like, and it's. There's something liberating about going somewhere and nobody knowing you like, nobody having any preconceived idea, like there's nothing to prove, there's no image or identity to hold up, nothing to protect, maybe to yourself, right? Maybe, if you still have things you want to come off as, but you could be anything. You could be somebody. You could be nobody. You could be serious. Like it doesn't matter, and I think this yeah like this being seen with eyes that don't know you, over and over again, puts your whole identity into perspective. Where you're like, well, you could be anything you want. You know. That's what I mean by taking yourself less seriously. You're less attached to your identity and who you are and you know it's like more free.

Yeah, You're even empowered to create the identity you would like to have and I feel, maybe then, yeah, maybe you're not attached to something, but it's easier to take to stay true to who you are because you are not fulfilling expectations of different people surrounding you who know you since childhood and say but you need to be like this? No, but now I'm like this and I can present myself that way.

Yeah, you know it's interesting this topic we're talking about because, you know, funnily enough my brand and my business is called the Self Academy and the Self Club and the Self right. Like it's all about. I moved so much that finding myself, like it's also easy, when you move around so much, to lose yourself, which maybe is a part of the journey, right, like it's like the hero's journey. Like you go off right and you question everything and you rebel against everything you know, and even around who you think you are, and then you find yourself again. But maybe we do this multiple times because I just think about it with myself. Like you know, what does it look like to be free but to still know who you are and know that maybe, everywhere you go, you might be a little bit different? It's like a balance because, yes, you go and you create a new identity, but if you hold on too much to that new identity, then again you're not free, because real freedom is with like being fully present in this moment all of the time, like every new moment. You're like, okay, like what do I feel like now? Right, because I can give you an example and maybe you can relate to this. If I have my morning routine, right, so I'm a person who meditates and does yoga and I drink tea, and then I'm like I'm gonna actually give you this funny example Like I don't drink alcohol, okay, and generally I don't drink coffee. So then I realize, okay, like this identity has been built around, like some of these things now, these practices, these behaviors but, then I moved to Columbia right For six months and you know, this part of me was like I kind of feel like drinking coffee, and then it was like, oh, but, but I don't drink coffee. You know, like it's like, well, maybe today you do drink coffee and the point is like tuning in and it's like, well, you know, and even this, it's like letting go. And I think people that are on a healing journey, for example, sometimes we we hold on to certain things, first to find ourselves and to anchor ourselves, but then that can become a trap in itself to like anything, anything, anything.

Yeah, I get it. It's like a really interesting thought and I feel it's also like when we should really, when we arrive to a new place as did you know it's we can it, observe ourselves, right, being like the first days like super curious, like, oh, how am I behaving now? What are like maybe some automatized processes I'm craving for? I'm as you, my morning routine for me. I always say I see that, oh, when I have my coffee in the morning, you know, I can journal, I can meditate, I can connect to my heart. Ok, what, what. And I realize, OK, the day starts differently if there's no possibility to boil water. You know, it's like a touch to this little, and that's then also like no freedom. And then just observing, observing our share of bed a little bit, and play around. I like what you say, although it's a playground the world, because for me it's also. I really I was thinking like your course. Example for me in Colombia, it's also to have my super nice mornings for myself. I cannot go to bed too late, right? But then when I went to Colombia, I love going out dancing, so I was shut down, so I go to bed at one or later or a little bit earlier, Then it's also cool to wake up at six, you know. So it's always really adapting also to the places, finding our, finding our balance and really feel, and I think the beauty and it is then really understanding what is my need in that current situation before, not in the situation, as you said, in the here and now, in this moment. Yeah and then maybe tomorrow it's completely different, and I think that is, then, also one beauty of being a normat, because we can play with it. It's we don't have this fixed environment and this, ok, it needs to be like this. This, this, I mean, we also can do it if we have a fixed environment, but it's just easy.

Yeah, yeah, and it's like it's such a journey this, you know, because it's it will differ greatly for everyone. Life is always like this tricky balance between two opposites, right, like, do I need to let go or do I need to like, actually, you know, create more structure here? Do I need to be more selfish or do I need to be more selfless? Like you know it's, we're always like treading these, these balances, but it is, I think I think it is important in the digital nomad life to have right, some sort of structure. I have found that a little bit challenging when everything is like so open all of the time, it's too much. It's too, it's too much Like if there's a thing called like decision fatigue and it's like all of the time having to make decisions sometimes is exhausting. So it's nice to wake up in the morning and not always being like oh, do I feel like coffee? Do I feel like this? Do I feel, you know, do I work today or do I you know what I mean Do I put the meeting in the afternoon of the morning? It's like we need to have some things in place already, and that's where routine is really helpful, I think, when there's so much movement, in finding that sense of like, groundedness and stability within wherever you are, you know.

I have found this really important for me. Yeah, and I also hear like from a lot of other digital nomads, like also for a working day, it's really important to have the structure Because, if not, we are there. We are always in this balance with fear of missing out, discovering the new place, going to events, but at the same time, we really need to work hard to make the money to sustain this lifestyle. Yeah, right, and that is like also like one example where we really need to see to have our structure in place.

Yeah, like I have felt like that actually these days, because I'm here in Mallorca, it's like August, everyone's on vacation and I'm not, like you know, I don't just take vacation like, oh, you know, sometimes when I'm going to a retreat or I'm traveling somewhere specific maybe, but I'm always available and I'm always sort of working and there's, you know, I have two different companies and there's always things to tend to when I manage a team and so they say I need me and I'm sometimes the one that has the passwords. You know, like. So it's this tricky thing between, wow, okay, managing my time in between all the different things. And then also many, many of many digital nomads also have like projects, right, like some people have jobs, fixed jobs, and some people have entrepreneurial projects or endeavors or businesses that are closer to their heart. And then it's different, because then we need other kind of time. Right, we need also creative time and we need like unpressured time. But sometimes we might judge ourselves and think like this time is not productive and that we need to do more or we need to be more. You know, you know what I mean Like do something more productive or more efficient or make money or whatever pressure, but then it doesn't let the creativity flow to then create the things you need to create. And sometimes it's like I find it and I'm quite good at time management I find this sometimes very challenging for myself. Let's balance of all these things.

Yeah, yeah, I can't completely resonate with it because for me it's also like I try to stay a little bit longer at one place because that for me then it's like okay, now in Europe I'm just traveling around and I'm realizing I'm really missing. To stay a little bit longer at one place because that's like kind of my medicine to not feel the sea of missing out, because I know I can do it also next week if today I need to work. But the short time at one place, the more there's maybe this sea of missing out or I need to discover I need to do what. But on the other hand it's also my driver for creativity. If I can discover any place sitting in a new coffee house never been, just being present there observing the people, then I sometimes have the best ideas for my business. You know, it's like, it's interesting, yeah, it's tricky. I almost hear some of the listeners asking like but it's like but are you not missing? Maybe like having a safe place where you can go, maybe like your childhood hometown? You know, or do you feel you missed in your life a little bit the settlement? What would you say to this? What? I would say maybe but it's not so much beauty of it.

Yeah, 100%. You know for sure, my childhood made me have to find home within myself. You know, which is a very important lesson I think we all learn. You know we try to find it in relationships, in places. Ultimately, it is sense of belonging starts from within. And at the same time I do like to have a base, and it's not my childhood home, that's for sure, but it's my home, my space, with my rules, like my precious objects, my teapot from Japan and my yoga mat and, you know, my king bed, and like those things that I know I love. You know to feel healthy and you know, and psychologically at my best and motivated and like contained and grounded. And that's not easy for me. I am the kind of person, in any case, that likes to have a base. I don't like to like just travel every two or three months. That's too much for me. I love. I also think that the things that happen when you're in one place for longer are magical, because more happens when you commit to a place, because you build the connections and then you know the place and every time you move you have to start from scratch and that takes a lot of energy. Oh, where's the shop? You know, putting all the stars on the Google Maps. Again it's like oh you know if I want to get a massage, or if I need an accountant, or you know, like whatever it is the finances, like the tax laws, like it's a whole thing every time you go somewhere. So I do like having a base, but right now I'm at the point I know it seems like I've been very nomadic, but I didn't really choose the digital nomad life. Like I was living in Australia for five years, you know, I moved, like once in the five years, and really, though, I like to have a base with my things and a place where my whole body can just relax, you know, and I'm sure I will find it again one day. But right now I've just surrendered to the fact that actually there is so much freedom in this too, and if I just let go right now and actually enjoy not having a particular base because you know, I love this phrase that says, when nothing is certain, everything is possible, and I don't want to live in that place my entire life because I don't want everything to be possible I want just then to actualize a few of those possibilities, you know, but right now I am in that place and it feels good to say, hey, you know what, maybe I do want to spend two months in Japan or, you know, three months in Argentina, because I don't like traveling, like tourism, I don't like being a tourist in places Like I hate sightseeing, I hate going and you're like, oh my God, check, check, check, like you know, just five days to see one spot, like you don't really live at the place and I like traveling like that, like slow. So that's, I think, what I love the most about the digital nomad life. That's beautiful.

So do you have like some plans where to go next? I think in the beginning, before we turned on the recording, we were already saying that you're like now so rendering to the unknown where you're going, or but I heard a little bit Japan, argentina.

Yeah, I don't want to travel to Egypt. That's next on my list, and my great grandparents from my mother's side to add to the whole crazy story are from Lebanon and I've never been there. So that's on the list, but that's more like shorter trips. And then, yeah, something is calling me to like Argentina and to Japan. So I don't know yet, but it's on the horizon for next year, so we shall see that's amazing and maybe you said you have like two companies.

I think it's also always interesting to learn a little bit. How do we really build a business, a company being in a normalic lifestyle? Because one key in the beginning is the consistency. I mean, if it's digital, it's okay. You can do it forever. I feel for my business sometimes I also need to be the consistency being in one place, why I also try to implement next year a little more slow traveling. But for you, what's your experience with building your business, maintaining them being a digital normal, being like in different places?

Yeah, I think it's very tricky because if you have a purely digital business, it can be very lonely and it can be very unhealthy just spending so much time on the screen all of the time and at the same time, if you have a business that has physicality, you need to be in a place. So it's not easy to find this balance and in my case so one of my businesses is the Self Academy, the one I mentioned the Self Academy and the Self Club and with this it started during COVID. Like many digital businesses where I created, I used to do one-on-one coaching and I used to teach in colleges and universities and I did workshops and trainings in Australia and then I created a women's program that was three months. Now it's four months and it's cool because, even though I don't love being on the screen so much, there's also a benefit to everyone. Being in their own room and in their own space and doing these calls right and journeying with women that have similar challenges and ways of seeing the world together for a period of time it's like creates a sense of belonging that sometimes is hard to find when everything else is moving so much. So that's been really fulfilling for me and I can do that from anywhere. The only crazy thing is the time zones with the different will. And then another thing I do is, wherever I go, I do some events and that's cool because it creates like a sense of community. You know, if people get to know me, I get to meet people. It's a really beautiful exchange. And then, yeah, with my other business, I have it with my mom and we take people on the Camino de Santiago, the way of St James. It's like a pilgrimage, a famous walk in the north of Spain. And I'm also lucky here because, you know, after we built the business and I was in Spain when that was happening but now we've scaled it and we've organized it in a way that I can do everything remotely. So sometimes I have to do some work, trips to visit some client, but the business part of things, everything nowadays can be remote. So that's amazing, yeah.

Yeah, it's cool. I would like to ask again about the events you said, because I mean I think we met yeah, we met because we both were doing events in Medellin by that time and I also feel it's like one way to meet like-minded people, because it's always also like you come to a new place and it might be the digital nomad hotspot, but it's not so easy when you're new to find the right people, to find the right spots. I feel that it's still like, I mean, we have the Facebook groups and whatever, but it's still like some kind of card. So, as I understand it, you just do your event, so you attract the people you're most, yeah, connect with and then from there you start creating your social circle while you're at a place. Is it basically like this?

Yeah, and I think, like you know those of us that have been traveling for a while, we know now it's like you get to a place, you start looking at the Facebook communities, the digital nomad ones, you know you start to meet people. They add you to lots of groups, they tell you about other communities and then you slowly start like meeting people. But these events I also like for some of the nomads out there, for example my brother. He has a company called Epic Lama and he does these really cool events that nomads love and I used to run them as well. In Australia it's called Fuck the Small Talk and in Fuck the Small Talk it's amazing because it's sort of like a not networking, sort of networking, right, nothing professional, it's super human, but people coming together but like talking deep. It's like what I said at the beginning, right, like you don't want to talk the small talk and bullshit and pretend you just want to get to like core things that maybe you would talk about with your best friend, but you don't have any best friends because you're in a new place, so you just make instant friends. So these sort of events I run events like this. I really appreciate people who run events like this too. It's like they create spaces for people to open up right away, and when you create that space, the connections that you make are different. It's really beautiful and I suggest those to a lot of the nomads that maybe are not so spiritual or feel a little bit more scared. Take yourself out there and go to these new things, because there's a lot of opportunity there for connection, and loneliness is a thing. Loneliness is a huge topic for digital nomads.

I think we have an entire episode about it, but I feel we should again talk about it because it's too long ago. It's a brutal honesty. It's not because we are nomads and we are so social and can meet the entire time. We also have our own lonely moments.

Totally.

What we just said in the beginning, the sense of belonging. You first need to meet these people who sooner or later can create this meaningful connections, because it's also not that with everybody you are vibrating in the same energy that you want to create.

And there's another element too even if you meet somebody and you go super deep which I'm really good at there's a topic of continuity no matter what, when you meet a new person, even if you go super deep, it's still telling your whole life story again. It's still you trying to get to know them, their energy, what they're about, their life, and it's so nice when people know who you are, when you don't have to explain things. You're always getting to know people. But when there's stories that you can reference to, when you build a friendship as well, in relationship over time and experiencing things together and if you're always starting this from scratch, it can be very lonely. We need that accompaniment people that can follow our story, our emotions, that yesterday we were sad and today we're super happy and why that happened, and remember what happened that I told you last week. That matters. That matters.

Yeah, and, as you also said, creating this moments together, exactly Right. And that is then sometimes where you maybe see your friends back home or wherever. If you have the settlement, then, oh, you're missing again a birthday, I don't know. You met a really nice friend traveling and now she's in Australia, you are in Mexico and you really would like to be part of that super special birthday party, whatever. So it's also like this moments you would like to share with people, but you just cannot because it's like too far away.

Yeah exactly, exactly yeah.

Or what I sometimes feel. It's like. It's also when I was like, really five years at one place and some point you're so close that you just go with your pyjama to see your friends for a tea when you're in a bad mood.

This is something that is more difficult than digital normatism 100% and those moments are sweet, like that kind of intimacy and trust and non-judgment and belonging. Takes some time to build and it's a beautiful thing about human relationships, Like I think we all crave that deep down. It's like being seen in our fullest expression, being able to bring all parts of ourselves to every situation right. But it's not appropriate always.

Is it an important need? So what would you say about loneliness? What could we say to our listeners? What would you give them as a recommendation? Learning there, Like, besides the fact of accepting it to feel it, what else?

I think I would give like, well, three points here. One for sure is the self-love and the learning to belong within yourself, right. So, like nurturing and noticing the ways we always go to external things to avoid feeling a certain way or to feel connection. So learning to feel connected, like I'm particularly connected to life, and that matters. Right. So finding nature, if you believe in something, a higher source or the universe or God or whatever, right, like that really matters. I think that's the base. And then two, I would say like, also like going to spaces where you can practice learning being your authentic self. That really matters. Because then, if you don't have that practice of authenticity, of voicing what you like, voicing what you need, voicing how you feel these basic things. It sounds really simple, but I teach this and I realize how uncommon it is that people voice their authentic truth.

Yeah, what would be in like a place like this.

Well, my events, and if you're not around, where can we go? Well, I think, like there's certain communities that teach this, right, like it doesn't have to go as deep as Tantra, right, but things that are like even the yoga community, right, yoga, intimacy, tantra, like even body work and dance spaces, like five rhythms or ecstatic dance, and all places where there's a value of authentic expression, right. So this matters. This matters in how we move in the world and how you feel about yourself. So this is something that I think is really important. And, lastly, I think the more we look into truth, the fewer we're trying to become accessible to them. The last, let's say, piece of advice I would give is and nurture the relationship and the connections that do matter to you. You know, nurture them, because I always say relationships. You know, it's like a plant, like it takes two people to water them, right, it takes like water from both sides. So, build those connections like make plans with those people, check in with people, see how they're feeling, make the phone calls and schedule the zooms too, because for me this really matters too, and it depends on everyone's personality type, but in the long run, this for me matters too. When you're old. I always think you know, like I'm old, like maybe I touched thousands of lives right, thousands or hundreds of thousands because of these beautiful and intense connections you had. But who's gonna call you on your birthday or who's gonna be at your funeral? Who are the people that care to the degree of changing some plans or for you and vice versa? Do you get me? It's very easy to, and this happens not only with digital nomads, right? People who I don't know get a new boyfriend and then they disappear from everyone's life. It's the same, right, you move to a new country and then everything's new and you're. This can become a bit of an addiction too, of like running away, you know, and it does take courage also to build something and to face the difficulties that come from staying in a relationship, staying in a place. It's easy to always run away too, and I see this with relationships happening, because now you know, moving to a new place. You can take the same principle to things like Tinder and Bumble and online dating, right, there's always a next place, there's always a next person. So if things get too difficult, or I don't like it, or I don't like the vibe, I'm just gonna leave, and this is creating, in my opinion, weak human beings that can't deal with conflict, that can't build something solid because it's just so easy to leave. So, yeah, that's what came up with your question, thank you.

I think that now we all have a lot to digest. It was great, but really I think it's really a lot of food for thoughts, to think a little bit about our digital normal life. So you know, how do we want to create it, who do we want to be in it, who is our authentic in this lifestyle? Dancing, and, before we finish, maybe anything else that's coming to your mind any question I should have asked you or anything else you would like to share?

Just to say that I think that we're in a big transition in humanity in terms of how we live, in lifestyle as well, and we're sort of, you know, with relationships, with living, with housing, with work professionally. It's like we don't want to do the old stuff of the last hundred years, you know, or hundreds of years, but we haven't yet figured it out. So I think we are all on this journey of figuring it out. So I very much appreciate as well these conversations where we can share our experiences, what has worked, what's challenging, how we can create new solutions together. I think these things really matter right now as we create the new reality, you know.

Yeah, it's beautiful because it's also more about this belonging within the community, right Of Digitimate. Also, if we don't see each other, if we don't know it, somehow we also belong.

Yeah, exactly, thank you, kendra. No, you're welcome.

So if someone wants to reach out to you, we will put your links in the show notes. What's your preferred way?

Yeah, probably Instagram. Yeah, samysacky, and my website is theselfclub, and there you can find almost everything and reach out. If anyone you know wants to talk has any questions, I'm always here. I love to meet new people and co-create together.

Amazing. So thank you so much for your time and all your thoughts, your openness, and talk soon. Thank you.

Thank you.

Beautiful, thank you.

And that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate it very, very much. I would appreciate it even more if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts for me. That way, more people can find this podcast, more people can hear the inspiring stories that we're sharing, and the more people we can impact for the better. So, thank you so much if you are going to leave a review. I really appreciate you and I will see you in the next episode.